The Illusion of Desire

Inspired by my wonderful teacher in the field of cognitive therapy: Psychologist Irene Henriette Oestrich, who introduced cognitive therapy to Denmark in the 1990s through the Fjordhus Project at the Sct. Hans Psychiatric Center in Roskilde. And my supervisor, psychologist Lennart Holm, who founded CEKTOS, the Center for Cognitive Therapy and Supervision, in Frederiksberg. We often believe we have to feel like doing something before we can do anything different from what we usually do. 

I believe it is Will that drives the process. It’s not just about wanting to do something. It’s also about creating the desire to do so. In the logic of cognitive therapy, actions, behavior, emotions, and physical sensations influence one another. It’s called the cognitive diamond or square. It started as a square and became a diamond as cognitive therapy gained ground here in Denmark. “Now the wave is coming,” said my old professor, Peter Elsass, at the university. There isn’t necessarily a specific order in the cognitive diamond, but there is aContext. Actions create new physical sensations and emotions. The point here is that if you want to experience pleasure, you have to do what brings you pleasure. That’s why behavioral therapy works. Do something different to feel something different.

Just as with the treatment of depression through cognitive therapy, where the logic is that you have to practice new behaviors and new ways of thinking in order to create different emotions. One of the “cognitive traps,” as I’d call it, is people’s logic: that they wait until they feel like doing something new. That’s an illusion. It works the other way around. They have to do something different before they feel like it. Act differently to feel differently. Like the Māori, who dance a haka to prepare for battle. They dance their fighting spirit into being. Try watching a video of a haka. It works. It’sIntimidating, scary. You don’t really want to get involved with people like that. As the saying goes, the work itself is its own reward. Working, Adler. The depressed patient says, “I don’t feel like getting up, so I can’t.” No, you have to get up to feel like it. Go for a walk to feel like it. You have to create that desire. The desire comes when you do something new. Because you want to. It’s about willpower. People say that desire drives the work. I think it’s willpower.